Acceptance

I remember sitting waiting for class to begin after handing in my application. The teacher came in and said; "It is the day after applications are due. However, we do accept some late submissions and just to let you know we accept almost everyone who applies". My jaw dropped. I realized then that a small part of me kind of hoped that I wouldn't be accepted. I'm not someone who does these kinds of things. I'm not the world traveler, though I've always wanted to travel. I'm not someone who is good with the kind of pressure all of this puts on me. This kind of stuff puts me in a panic...and I mean that literally because I am someone that has panic attacks. Because it's not just travel, it's everything that has to do with travel... Money, food, money, calling, money, homework, money, doing laundry, and every little thing that could be on someone's list of "oh-well-I'll-figure-it-out-later". These would include: how will I do my laundry, will there be a fridge and microwave in the hotel room, will I have to deal with my feminine monthly problems, do they even sell the same kind of pads abroad? Everything that are just simply questions for someone else are stressors for me....and it can make my life a living hell. So when she said "almost everyone is accepted" I panicked. Again I mean that quite literally. I spent the rest of class thinking only of that fact and then after class I had a really bad panic attack where I was hyperventilating and thinking I was going to die.